There are two types of people in this world: Those who drink Red Bull and those who are objectively incorrect. If you fall into the second category, I hope you have a great day living in absolute delusion.
Now that we’ve established Red Bull supremacy, let’s get to the rankings.
Also, this is going to be one of those posts that have to do with How to Make Money Gaming without going pro. That means affiliate link heavy!
Some links on this page may be affiliate links, meaning I may earn a commission at no additional cost to you. But these are snacks and gear I trust, or wish I’d known about sooner.
S-Tier: The Elite Class
- Red Bull (Original, Blue, & Coconut) – The gold standard. The Michael Jordan of energy drinks. One of the many ways I Avoid Burnout While Building a Brand. It just hits every time. It’s smooth, it doesn’t taste like liquified battery acid, and it gives you wings (even if they got sued for saying that). If I have any other energy drink in my hand, slap it out.
- Coffee – A timeless classic. Does it make you feel like a productivity god? Yes. Does it also occasionally make you reconsider all of your life choices while you vibrate into another dimension? Also yes. But coffee always delivers, and it deserves respect. (and if you need to get your hands on The Greatest Coffee Maker Ever, give that post a look)
- Club Minis (Original) – Listen, if you haven’t had these, fix your life immediately. These are the LeBron James of crackers. They are elite, undefeated, and frankly, don’t get enough respect in the gaming snack world.
- Honorable Mention: My Snacktiv Pro (yes, this is a real thing) – I don’t care what you think, this is peak gaming innovation. It keeps my hands from getting crusty while I’m in ranked play, and I refuse to game without it now. (I game all the time without it now, I’m just sayine buy it lol)
A-Tier: The Respectable Choices
- Milk Duds & Junior Mints (Frozen, Mixed, & Mystery Edition) – This is my move. You refrigerate them overnight, and then when you eat them, you don’t look so you can be surprised every time. A little chaos in your snack strategy never hurt anyone.
- Pretzels – Solid, crunchy, non-dusty. Safe pick.
B-Tier: Solid But Not First Pick
- Dr Pepper – I have a weakness for Dr Pepper, I won’t lie. It’s not an everyday gamer drink, but sometimes you just need it.
- Dots – Underrated? Maybe. Will I go out of my way to buy them? Probably not. But when they’re there, I’m eating them.
C-Tier: Why Are You Like This?
- Any Energy Drink That Isn’t Red Bull – This is where bad decisions are made.
- Reign Energy Drink – I’m just going to assume you’re a menace to society if you drink this. I’m also not tagging them on purpose. Take that Reign.
F-Tier: Literal Crimes Against Gaming
- Flamin’ Hot Cheetos While Using a Controller – You’re a psychopath if you do this. The controller grease alone should put you on an FBI watchlist.
- Energy Drink + Dorito Dust Combo = You need therapy.
Biggest L’s I’ve Taken From My Gaming Snacks
- My biggest energy drink disaster? I looked away for one second and suddenly my 3-year-old was chugging a Red Bull. Now, He’s built different, and I’m waiting on his sponsorship deal.
- Biggest controller disaster? The amount of times I’ve been mid-rank-up match, reached for a drink, and knocked it over into my keyboard? Never, I have a cupholder, I’m not an animal.
- Worst snack decision ever? Once had a full-on mid-game choking incident because I tried to talk with a Milk Dud glued to my soul. Never again.